Me Vs Christmas Tree: 3 Strikes you're out!

I love Christmas. I love decorating for Christmas. It makes me so very happy to come home and turn on my Christmas tree lights and sit on my couch with a warm blanket and enjoy the ambiance of my cozy little Christmas retreat. Usually my house is decorated by early November, and this year I had every intention of following that timeline.

My mom gave me her old tree that she bought for super cheap at Zellers, it was the display model and it was missing a row of branches. I had just bought a house and couldn't afford a tree so I was more than happy to use it. I managed to make it look far better than I ever thought possible for a few years. I lent it to my step sister for her wedding and something happened to it and its never been the same since. Consequently this year I decided that I would splurge on a new tree. I looked all over town, I measured my small little living room and I found the most amazing fake tree at Costco. It had "real tree technology" which is an amusing title. It was cheap, it was beautiful and it should fit in my living room with half a foot to spare, perfect for my tree topper. It took me hours to set the tree up and put lights on it. Sadly as it was a foot taller than my previous tree I didn't have enough lights, or ribbon to complete the tree so my tree sat there with the bottom half unlit. The tree had a small amount of clearance and I decided it was time to test out the star. It fit, but it was ridiculous, millimetres to spare. and it was just too fat. It looked ridiculous in my tiny living room. Down it came, over 6 hours wasted in total to set up and take down. Strike 1.

Way too close to the ceiling, but it was GORGEOUS

I was done, I was upset, I was exhausted. My week off work was over and I had wanted my house clean and decorated before I had to go back to work full time. Now I had my decorations strewn all over the room and I didn't want to take them downstairs, nor did I want to lug up my old tree. That thing puked plastic needles like crazy. So my room was in limbo for a couple weeks as I went from store to store looking at all the other fake trees for sale. Can I just say that there is a lot of crappy looking junky trees for sale that are 2-3 times as much as I paid at Costco? Ridiculous. I couldn't find a single tree under $700 I would be willing to put up in my living room.

This was a GOOD angle

Everyone told me to buy real. I love real trees. The smell alone is amazing, and they remind me of my childhood. They are a lot of work though. I have a small car, no way to transport it. I'd have to buy a stand, I'd have to find a way to dispose of it in the new year. Blah blah blah, whine whine whine. I remained in Christmas limbo, becoming a little more Scrooge-ish each day. Then my mom declared she was forgoing using her GORGEOUS artificial tree this year for a real one, and would bring me one as well. Who was I to refuse. So while I was at work they went and picked up a beautiful height appropriate tree and a stand and brought it over to my house when I was off work the next day. We set it up, made sure she was straight and away they went. The worst part about a real tree is letting all the branches settle for 24 hours. So I waited. When I finally was off work and able to start to decorate my tree I noticed the tree was at an angle. So I called up my mom and got some help to straighten it. Within 45 minutes of their leaving the tree was right back at a 30 degree angle. I was beyond frustrated. I left it alone to see if it was going to fall over. It didn't. I spent an hour getting it straight, in which time it almost fell on me 2-3 times. Strike 2.

STRAIGHT!

I just tossed the decorations on, usually I make
sure it looks symmetrical.

I then lit my tree up. Once again it started to tip. I can not explain how frustrated I was. I decided I would not decorate it, I would just turn it on and smell it. That lasted a couple days and then I went to town straightening it again. This time I noticed that the trunk was mushy and the stand was digging in and that was why it was tipping. I gerry rigged the tree and if I didn't touch it, it was perfect. 3 days later it was still perfectly straight so I decorated my tree with my decorations and it made me smile.


 I was in love. The smell, the lights, the decorations. It was gorgeous. I left it for another day or two, and then decided I should probably attempt to water it as it had been 5 days without water. Idiotic. Christmas was 5 days away. The tree would have been ok until then. The tree was not happy with me and tried to crush me a few times, but I straightened it and thought it was secure, I let go and went upstairs to grab something and heard a loud clatter. I ran down the stairs afraid to see what was the matter. What to I see, not to my surprise? My tree on the ground right before my eyes. Strike 3.

Stupid Tree

Path of destruction

I was done. DONE. No more. I lifted the tree up with one hand, and with the other I grabbed all my decorations and tossed them on couches and chairs safely. Trying not to break the beautiful ornaments. That was the easy part. The hard part was taking off the 4 strands of lights with one hand. Once that was done, I opened my sliding door and tossed it outside. Along with the stand and my soggy tree skirt. Luckily the waterproof tree skirt took all the damage and barely any tree water and grime got on my carpet. Then I sat on my couch and tried not to cry. Three strikes you're out. Well played Christmas tree. Well played.

The amount of needles on my carpet was astonishing. Well, I guess the astonishing thing is that there were still needles left on the tree. My vacuum managed the situation better than I anticipated, however this whole thing has led me to the decision that I am buying a Dyson.

 Luckily I still got to enjoy christmas trees at my mom's place, my dad's place, and my sister's place, which made the sting of a Christmas free zone home a little easier to handle. Next year I'm not sure if I'll pull out the old tree or attempt a real one again, but I'm thinking the fake one may win out!